I need to tell you something I’ve never said out loud.
Something I’ve been ashamed of for years.
I loved my kids… but I secretly resented them.
Not all the time. Not every moment. But enough that the guilt ate me alive.
I resented the sleepless nights. The tantrums. The constant demands. The way my entire life revolved around their needs while mine disappeared.
And I felt like the worst Christian mom in the world for feeling that way.
The Resentment No One Talks About
It started slowly.
At first, I thought it was just exhaustion. Normal mom burnout.
But then I’d catch myself thinking things like:
- “I miss who I was before kids.”
- “I wish I could just have one day to myself.”
- “My life isn’t mine anymore.”
And the worst one:
“I love them… but sometimes I don’t like being their mom.”
The guilt was crushing.
How could I feel this way? I prayed for these kids. I wanted to be a mom. What’s wrong with me?
The Moment I Realized I Wasn’t Alone
One day, I was at a women’s Bible study, and someone asked:
“What’s the hardest part of being a Christian mom?”
Everyone gave the “right” answers:
- “Finding time to read my Bible.”
- “Being patient when they disobey.”
- “Teaching them about God.”
And then one mom—brave, honest, raw—said:
“Sometimes I resent my kids. And I feel terrible for it.”
The room went silent.
And then, slowly, other moms started nodding.
“Me too.”
“I thought I was the only one.”
“I’ve felt that way for years but never said it out loud.”
I almost cried.
I wasn’t the only one.
Why Christian Moms Feel This Way
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Resentment doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids. It means you’ve lost yourself.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped being “Kay” and became “Mom.”
- My hobbies? Gone.
- My friendships? Faded.
- My identity? Wrapped entirely in motherhood.
And when you lose yourself, resentment creeps in.
Not because your kids are bad. But because you’re drowning.
What God Showed Me
I brought my guilt to God one night in tears.
“God, what’s wrong with me? Why do I feel this way? Am I a terrible mom?”
And He gently whispered:
“Kay, I didn’t call you to lose yourself in motherhood. I called you to walk with Me through it.”
That hit me.
I’d been so focused on being a “good Christian mom” that I’d forgotten to be a woman who loves God first.
And when I lost my connection with God, I lost my joy in everything—including my kids.
The Difference Between Resentment and Hate
Let me be clear:
Resentment is not hatred.
- Hate says, “I wish I never had them.”
- Resentment says, “I love them, but I’m drowning.”
Resentment is a signal that something needs to change.
It’s your soul’s way of saying:
“I’m empty. I have nothing left to give. I need help.”
What Helped Me
Here’s what I did to work through the resentment:
1. I confessed it to God.
I stopped pretending I had it all together and brought my raw, ugly feelings to Him.
And He didn’t condemn me. He met me with grace.
2. I asked for help.
I told my husband, “I’m drowning. I need a break.”
And I started taking one morning a week to myself—no kids, no guilt.
3. I reconnected with who I was.
I picked up old hobbies. I called friends. I remembered I was more than just “Mom.”
4. I gave myself permission to not love every moment.
Motherhood is hard. It’s okay to not enjoy every season.
God doesn’t expect me to be joyful 24/7. He expects me to be honest.
What the Bible Says
Galatians 6:9 says:
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Notice it says “Let us not become weary.”
That means weariness is real. It’s expected. And God knows about it.
He’s not surprised by your exhaustion. He’s not disappointed in your struggle.
He just wants you to come to Him with it.
A Word for the Resentful Mom
If you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s me. I love my kids but I resent them,” I want you to know:
You’re not a bad mom.
You’re an exhausted, overwhelmed, empty mom who needs rest and grace.
And God sees you.
He knows you’re tired. He knows you’re trying. He knows you love your kids even when it feels hard.
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be honest.
A Prayer for the Weary Mom
“God, I’m tired. I love my kids, but I’m struggling. I feel guilty for feeling resentful. Forgive me. Fill me up again. Help me find rest, joy, and myself again. Remind me that I’m not just ‘Mom’—I’m Your daughter first. Give me strength to keep going. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Final Thoughts
I don’t resent my kids anymore.
Not because they got easier. Not because I became a “better” mom.
But because I stopped losing myself in motherhood and started walking with God through it.
And that made all the difference.
You can love your kids and still need a break.
You can be a good mom and still struggle.
You can follow Jesus and still feel exhausted.
That’s not failure. That’s humanity.
And God meets us there.