You walk into the kitchen and have no idea why.
Or it’s 3 AM, the sheets are damp, and you’re lying there doing math on how many hours are left before the alarm.
Or you snapped at someone you love, over nothing, and now you’re sitting in the car with tears you can’t explain.
What is wrong with me?
Maybe nothing is wrong the way you’re afraid it is.
You’re not losing your mind. You’re not a bad wife, a bad mom, or a bad Christian. And you’re not alone.
What’s actually going on
Perimenopause is the stretch of years before menopause. For a lot of women it starts in their 40s. For some, sooner.
Your estrogen and progesterone start bouncing around with no pattern. Up one week, down the next. Those two hormones touch almost everything: your sleep, your mood, your memory, your body temperature, even how you feel about the people you love most.
It’s real. It’s physical. And it isn’t a sign that your faith is weak.
If it’s making life hard, please talk to your doctor. You don’t have to tough it out just because you think a good Christian should.
Nobody talks about this part
Search “perimenopause” and you’ll find medical articles and ads for supplements. What you won’t find much of is anyone asking: how do I walk with God through this?
You’re not imagining that gap. A 2024 doctoral study at Liberty University, The Lived Experiences of Perimenopausal Christian Women, interviewed ten Christian women about this stage. They knew very little about perimenopause going in, some pulled away from other people, and they said they needed more education and support. And in a post for Sanctuary Mental Health, one woman writes about menopause feeling wrapped in silence and shame at her church, and being told to just pray through it.
Prayer matters. It just shouldn’t be the only thing anyone offers you.
Nobody should have to go through this in silence.
God is not surprised
Psalm 139 says God knit you together. He’s still at work in you, even now. Even in a body that’s acting up.
This stage isn’t a flaw in the design. It’s a hard, real change, and God goes through it with you.
And look at the women in the Bible. Sarah was ninety when Isaac was born. Anna was an old widow who spent her days in the temple, and she was there the day baby Jesus was brought in. God wasn’t finished with these women when everyone else figured He was.
He isn’t finished with you either.
Three things that help
1. Tell God the truth. Don’t fake peace. Try this: “Lord, I don’t like how I feel today. Help me trust You anyway.”
2. Take the mercy. Lamentations 3 says His mercies are new every morning. That includes the morning after you snapped, cried, or skipped everything. Start fresh.
3. Rest where you can. When sleep won’t come, try one word at 3 AM: Jesus. You may not fall asleep, but you won’t be awake alone. He did say, “Come to me, all you who are weary” (Matthew 11:28).
You don’t have to do this alone
I put together a free 5-day devotional for exactly this: Grace for the Midlife Storm. Each day has a short reading, a Bible verse, a prayer, and a place to write. It takes about five minutes.
If you’re in the middle of this right now, I’m sorry. I know it’s hard. You’re not failing. You’re going through something real, and God is right there in it.
Related reading: Finding Peace in the Storm: For Weary Christian Women | Nurturing Your Home: Creating a Christ-Centered Family Culture
This post is encouragement, not medical advice. If your symptoms are hard to live with, please talk with your doctor. You can read more in our Medical & Mental Health Disclaimer.